I’m a Dad in My 40s Who Deleted Instagram (And Hasn’t Looked Back)
Written on 2026-04-12 by Adam Drake - 9 min read
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I was walking around aimlessly seeking out photo opportunities and thinking about what I could write to be contrary and witty. The sun was setting and I felt a cool bitter wind smack against my neck. “How many likes would I get for this picture” I thought. I stopped in my tracks.
What was I doing?!
It was at that point that I realised my social media consumption had to change. It was becoming all consuming. As I stood there an anger suddenly swelled up inside me. Where did that come from?
I started thinking long and hard about the places it showed up in my life. I thought objectively of the true value it was bringing me. I asked myself difficult questions that I realised I had been avoiding for quite some time.
It was uncomfortable. My body felt physically awkward. I didn’t like my emotions showing their unwelcome faces.
Disclaimer: I am a father of 3 children, I’m in my 40s and I live in the Czech Republic. I have thought long and hard about social media and the role it plays in our lives and I think I have an approach that works for me. Take from that what you will.
Deconstructing The Attention Imbalance
As I sat there I started to classify the different social media apps into a variety of groups. They didn’t fit nicely. This was going to be more complicated than I thought. After some time I came up with some rough groups:
- Please Disappear
- Acceptable With Caution (The occasional binge is fine)
- Life Enhancers
Social media is difficult. To generalise and say it’s all bad is lazy. To be open to everything and consume whatever comes your way is dangerous and irresponsible.
Finding a path forward was going to be tricky.
Group #1: Please Disappear
This is the easiest group and for me there are two obvious ones that fit straight into this:
- Tiktok
Tiktok
I never understood Tiktok and I am still amazed at how popular it is. I’ve never downloaded or used it. I have seen it a few times on friends phones and I started feeling anxious after just 10 seconds. I knew right away I didn’t need this in my life.
This one is a bit more nuanced. I did have it for a while on my phone and I was even posting fairly regularly. I soon realised however that I was spending so much of my “thinking time” pondering about what I could post next.
After some time though I finally realised that it wasn’t serving me. Most of the things people are sharing on there are false highlights and I was spending way too much time trying to please virtual strangers.
There is value in it though for many people and that’s where the complications occur. If so many people gain value from the app then am I just not using it right? If I delete it will I be missing out on something?
Classic FOMO.
After much deliberation I decided that Instagram was not for me. I deleted the app. I deleted my account. I felt a pang of regret and something akin to grief. I found it incredible that this one app would cause so many levels of emotion inside me.
After a few days though, those feeling slowly started to subside and I thankfully haven’t looked back.
Group #2: Acceptable With Caution
The obvious choices for me here are Twitter and Facebook.
Twitter is a bit of a strange one because I could make genuine valid reasons why my life would be better with more of it in my life. The main excuse being for my profession.
The main issue is the dark side of Twitter. The posts that annoy and enrage you. I don’t know if Twitter do this deliberately but they always manage to show me posts that get under my skin.
The last such instance of this being a photo of some protestors sitting on a main road blocking everyday commuters in order to highlight some cause they believed in. I remember not agreeing with the protestors and then getting involved with the comments. Never a good idea.
The only thing I can still really recall about the whole thing is the arguing, the anger I felt and the overall negative feelings I came away with.
Again, I had to ask myself: “What am I truly getting out of this?” — After much thought I realised I didn’t really have a good answer. The only reason I haven’t deleted this account too is the fact that I do very occasionally get some good out of it connected with my profession.
Facebook nowadays seems quite antiquated and tame compared to the other social media apps. It’s the eldest and it does show signs of that.
It’s actually the only social media app I have on my phone. I justify that mainly around ‘Marketplaces’ as in Czech it’s still a good place to sell your old stuff.
It’s mainly a few of my ‘friends’ posting some holiday snaps amongst a growing list of adverts. It’s mostly the same people posting too and honestly it’s all pretty harmless. I don’t feel any FOMO, I don’t feel any inclination to post anything.
The Facebook groups are good too. I often check the local town’s Facebook group for any updates on any local happenings around the town. But that’s probably just a sign of my stage in life. I’m more interested in the local planning permissions than what Lady GaGa (or whoever is popular these days) is wearing in her recent concert.
Group #3: Life Enhancers
Then we arrive at my kryptonite — Youtube. Up until recently I would sing from the rooftops about Youtube. The diversity, the quality, the subject matter. It’s all there.
However, recently I’m starting to change my opinion. Like I said, social media is complicated. (And yes — I do still categorise Youtube as Social Media even though you could easily argue it’s just entertainment. It falls into that bucket of applications that are highly addictive, it’s social (in a way) and the content is managed by an algorithm. Therefore it must be monitored as such to avoid bad habits from forming.)
I don’t know if it’s because I’m a software developer but the algorithm has recently been showing me more and more clickbait titles that I know if I watch them I will get angry. And of course I click them.
- “AI is taking your job — 5 habits to protect your career.”
- “This one tool will change your life”
- “Mr Beast is what Marx warned us about” — seriously?! Karl Marx? The guy who developed the theoretical framework of Communism. We should be worried about what he warned us about? Have people forgotten history already?!
This could just be Youtubers getting more savvy with their video titles too plus the influence of AI generating titles. I don’t like the direction it’s going.
However, I will probably spend at least 20–30 minutes on Youtube everyday. I still think this is fine but I am wary of it and I think that’s good. As long as you are aware of your compulsions then at least you’re not running on autopilot.
I’m keeping it for now as the net effect of this app on my life is still positive.
Conclusion
Social media is tricky. My relationship with it has changed over time but I think I have finally found a good place. For now at least.
It’s not as easy as removing it completely from your life but at the same time you need to have control over it otherwise it starts taking over.
I definitely lean on the side of what Cal Newport would call “Digital Minimalism” but I still think it can provide value in the right situation.
Apps like TikTok and Instagram I think could disappear tomorrow and I wouldn’t even notice. In fact I would notice because my 15 yr old son would maybe spend a bit less time doom scrolling.
Twitter (despite the horrendous negativity it can generate) has provided me value and Facebook indulges me on occasion.
My current sticking point is Youtube. The algorithm seems to be pushing more evocative content my way recently. This could be due to the impact of AI on Software Engineering or Youtubers learning the art of click bait. I’m not sure but I’m finding myself becoming anxious more and more after viewing some videos.
I will definitely need to keep an eye on it.
What’s your guilty pleasure when it comes to Social Media? Are there any apps you would outright ban? Do you think they are a fundamentally good thing for society?
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Written by Adam Drake
Adam Drake is a Frontend React Developer who is very passionate about the quality of the web. He lives with his wife and three children in Prague in the Czech Republic.
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